The Non Sequitur

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  “ I'm going to overlay you with throbbing gristle. ”
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  “ FECAL MATTERS is the name of my first album, listen to some songs at my channel, hope you like it! I need You guys, thanks. ”
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  “ how do you create a hashtag? easy, just mail Twitter your suggestion and $5 consideration fee. include a SASE if you would like your hashtag suggestion back ”
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  “ Inspire and be inspired by sharing gratitude with the thenonsequitur community. BEFORE I CUT YOU ”
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  “ Document the things you are grateful for right from your mobile phone. DO IT, FUCKER! ”
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  “ yeah but can DeVry teach you how to dougie ”
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  “ FUCK ALL YOU RAGING HOMOSEXUALS!!! ”
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  “ i will not listen or help you out unless you write up some test cases for your sadness ”
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  “ when people stop telling you what they think, they've given up on you ”
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  “ that's horse hockey, radar, and you know it ”
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  “ why don't you riot more ”
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  “ damn you IE ”
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  “ “Work like you don't need the money, love like your heart has never been broken, and dance like no one is watching” ”
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  “ yeah, i'm talking about you girl ”
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  “ do you think juggalos should have rights? ”
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  “ hello, i love you won't you tell me your shoe size? ”
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  “ basically it was like being 50 years old and an 18 year old picks you up at the bar and takes you back to her place only you realize that you forgot your viagra so you spend the whole time showing her pictures of your kids and sucking on her tits ”
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  “ how was your google interview? did you revert to snail form? ”
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  “ you know who had a solution, is hitler ”
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  “ nice to meet you old twitter. i like how you reminisce about the good ol days ”
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  “ I just ejaculated blood onto my wife's sister's face. That's what you get for sleeping with your brother in law. ”
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  “ no, why don't YOU post something anonymously?! ass. ”
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  “ sometimes i wish you were a stfu ”
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  “ hey hot stuff. meet me at queen and spadina. i have a pair of rubber straps to give you. ”
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  “ You just got __'d ”
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  “ if this then fuck you ”
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  “ YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LISA! ”
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  “ you think you're the only website that can give me that barton fink feeling? ”
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  “ you rock ”
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  “ i was the one you was next door ”
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  “ you like? ”
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  “ I poop. You poop. Therefore, everybody poops. ”
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  “ fuck you winter. fuck you in the eye. ”
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  “ you are a national treasure ”