The Non Sequitur

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  “ my cat would be a perfect suicide girl candidate. she complains all the time and doesn't have a job. ”
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  “ basically it was like being 50 years old and an 18 year old picks you up at the bar and takes you back to her place only you realize that you forgot your viagra so you spend the whole time showing her pictures of your kids and sucking on her tits ”
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  “ I think we should start dividing homeless people into two groups. Homeless and wanting a home and Homeless and staying that way. That way, I can not give them a loonie and only feel bad half of the time. ”
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  “ one tween at a time ”